Motivation for Christian Mamas

I just finished reading an excellent post by a new visitor to my blog. I could summarize it here, but I would love it if you would head over to her blog and read her urgent words yourselves. If you are a Christian mama, I highly recommend Passionate Housewife's wonderful post:

Against the Norm

I am working on a post on creative ways to incorporate reading-aloud into homes like mine where it is extremely difficult. Look for that post tomorrow.

Flowing Blessings

Photo courtesy of telachhe

I find it adorable when one of our babies tries to grab the stream of water I pour from a container into the bath water. His little face lights up with concentration as he tries several times to take hold of the sparkly, seemingly-solid object in front of him. Eventually, he will just learn to enjoy the feeling of the water flowing over his fat little hand, knowing it is not something to be grasped.

It occurred to me that God's blessings, particularly the gift of childhood, are just like this flowing water. They are beautiful. They are intriguing. And, they are flowing. Once we realize that, like the stream of water, they are not something we can catch and grab hold of, we know that our only option is to embrace the gift of each blessing flowing through our lives.

Our current baby is the worst sleeper we've ever had. I can count on one hand the number of times I have put baby guy to bed and he has not woken up 20-40 minutes later, needing to be put back to sleep. In his first 10 months or so, it was impossible to get him back to sleep most nights and he would end up awake, hanging out with me. I often reminded myself that I loved him, loved being with him and that it wouldn't last forever. A lot of times, though, I complained about not having any time to myself.

A couple of nights ago, I was upstairs snuggling beside baby guy as he drifted back off to sleep. I thought about how much I loved his adorable baby breath, his chubby face in the light peeking in through the blinds. My tears started pouring forth as I realized how very much I would miss this someday. I wanted to stop time and lie there forever, kissing his beautiful little cheeks. I determined to do my best to savour the blessings God pours into my life, particularly the ones that I am tempted to complain about because it is probably these little things I will miss the most.

Quiet Time Challenge Check-In

How is everyone doing on their quiet time? I almost decided to miss mine a couple of nights ago when it was quite late, baby guy was still awake and I was pretty tired. However, I decided I would just read one chapter of the Bible (which is my normal amount) and pray for a few minutes with baby guy crawling around at my feet. I was so glad that I did. It reminded me that something is better than nothing. Sometimes I have a lot to give and sometimes I don't, but I'm going to do my best to give what I have...and I will try to slot it in earlier in the day, too!

I'm looking forward to covering teaching composition tomorrow as we continue our series on Charlotte Mason Basics.

Also, for those of you following along on the Home Blessing as a Family plan, make sure to have your room-by-room cleaning task lists ready for the next step on Monday. There is a sample here if you need some inspiration.

When Quiet Time is just Quiet Time

Today as I sat down to have my quiet time, there were a number of distractions. I normally have my quiet time earlier in the day, but today it didn't work out until later. Steve was putting the kids to bed and our 3 year old's pillow was missing. Don't ask me how a child can misplace a pillow. Anyway, there was quite a kerfuffle over it and I found it hard to concentrate. I was also at the place in my Bible reading where I read Philemon. I wasn't feeling very connected to the scripture, though, of course, I see value in reading it regardless of how I feel. I started to pray, but I didn't feel like I had much to say. So, I just sat for a few minutes. God was silent and I was silent. That's okay. In fact, it is kind of refreshing. Every time I sit down to spend time alone with God doesn't have to involve His revealing new meaning in a particular scripture or my unloading a whole bunch of requests. Sometimes, it is just quiet.

I must admit that I like the really snazzy, inspiring times a lot, but God doesn't work that way all the time. We need a breather sometimes, a time to let the lessons and ideas of other days sink in and take hold. For today, I just ended my quiet time by listing all the little, mundane things I was thankful for, the things I don't often take the time to appreciate.

I'm off to paint my bathroom, now. My dear mother-in-law primed and put the first coat on earlier. It was a fairly hideous yellow-green before and is now a beautiful, soothing and sophisticated 'Papineau'.

A New Year's 31-Day Challenge for Christian Mamas

Photo Courtesy of amanky

Happy New Year! Did you stay up to ring it in? Like most years, I sort of did. I do try for the sake of my husband and the children who are old enough to care, but it just is not terribly exciting for me and I usually fall asleep. :)

Sometimes I make New Year's Resolutions, but mostly I don't. I think I am afraid of failure. If you read the statistics, though, New Year's Resolutions are actually very effective in comparison with the things people resolve to do at other times on their own.

Over the past couple of months, I have been addressing my sporadic quiet time and trying to figure out why I am not more consistent than a few times a week. I think it is a couple of things. Firstly, I think I believe I am too busy. Secondly, I think I don't realize how much it matters. Are you like me at all?

"I'm too busy." Of course, I know I am never too busy for God, that He is my most important priority, etc. However, on a practical basis, when I have 1 hour to be out of the house and I still have to dress children, have a shower and scrape the ice off the car, I believe I can't 'fit it in'. Over the last couple of months, I have played a little game with God. I said to Him, "I know you are the most important priority in my life. You are more important than a shower or eating breakfast, but these things are still important. I am going to choose to put you first and I will trust that you will help me to get everything done that needs to be done." I didn't have ridiculous expectations of sitting in my room absorbed in worship and prayer for the full hour or anything, but I did need a few minutes to read God's Word and to talk to him and sit with him. In the many times I have tried this, God has never let me leave the house in my pyjamas or without eating.

"I don't realize how much it matters." I think, in my human state, this will always be somewhat true. I don't think I am capable of truly understanding the importance of my relationship with God, but I can try! For the month of January, I am going to trust God to show me what a month of consistently spending time with Him everyday will mean to my life. I am hoping some of you will join me, so you can share your stories of encouragement with me, too.

So, the challenge is to spend just a few minutes praying and reading God's Word for the next 31 days - every day. Please don't feel you have to set aside a half hour or to get up at 5:30am, if this isn't going to work for you. Let's stretch ourselves, but also be realistic. If you are not already having quiet time consistently every day, then anything will be better than nothing. Start very small. I know God will bless any efforts we make with a whole heart. Reading a few verses and praying for five minutes is worthwhile. Don't let the belief that you should be doing more rob you of spending time with our Lord.

If you would like to join me, leave a comment on this post. I will update my progress on a little sidebar. I can't wait to see what the Lord will do!

This is the life.

The older children are playing outside in the snow, my three year old is snuggled with me under a quilt, napping. My sweet, chubby baby is at large - as always - exploring and already no longer needing me as much as he did only weeks ago. The 'official' homeschooling is done for the day and I can sit for a few moments of quiet, focusing on my knitting and the blessings of this beautiful life that God has created for me.

Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:6-7

See you tomorrow as we take a look at Living Books, the next topic in the Charlotte Mason Basics series. :)

Acceptance

I realized recently that I have been grieving the loss of our homeschool. Not that we don't have a homeschool anymore, but I have been grieving the homeschool we used to have (or at least the one I 'remember' having.) You see, I aspire to a Charlotte Mason style of homeschooling, one that in my mind, includes lots of reading-aloud together, snuggled up on the sofa. The problem is that with several little people under 5 in our home, interruptions are nearly as abundant as the love and laughter we share, making reading-aloud next to impossible.

I realized that not only was I grieving, but my grief actually paralleled the 5 official stages of grieving associated with the death of a loved one:

Denial
At first, I didn't believe that this was actually true. How could it be possible that I could not spend an hour or more reading aloud to my children each day? No one else at my beloved Charlotte Mason study group seemed to be struggling with this. I kept thinking I just didn't have the children well-enough trained to stay quiet or play independently, that we just didn't have our routine together because I was too undisciplined, or even that my priorities must just be wrong (the folly of this is now evident -- to busy making healthy meals? tidying my home? nursing my baby??) Is there ever any end to a mother's ability to self-deprecate?

Anger
Next, I was mad. For heaven's sake, I am a veteran, experienced homeschooler, a current and past leader of several homeschooling groups, and even a homeschool conference speaker! It, therefore, could not be my fault that I couldn't read aloud for any length of time. Logically, the blame had to be someone else's. I continually blamed the children for the reading interruptions. The baby wouldn't focus on nursing, but would constantly grab the book...toddlers would pee their pants or need bum-wiping, sibling fights would break out, the phone would ring, and the children would, annoyingly, feel the need to constantly comment on the reading ("Oh, this is like in An Island Story when...") Can you even imagine a mother who would be annoyed at her children making connections with other readings!?!? My frustration level with the interruptions caused me to raise my voice more times than I care to remember, including my personal favourite, "Will you all sit still and BE QUIET!! For HEAVEN'S SAKE! I am TRYING to read the BIBLE!!!"

Bargaining
I started dreaming up what I could possibly trade off to acquire interruption-free reading time. I could get my oldest (and already over-burdened) daughter to take the littles elsewhere while I did some reading, I could send the littles off to the playroom with strict instructions not to open the door or ask me for anything, I could make convenience foods, or maybe we could even humanely sleep-train our baby. I even imagined that I could change my style of homeschooling and buy a new curriculum. (How often is buying something ever really the answer?)

Depression
Nothing was going to work. I was stuck with things the way they were. I couldn't figure out how to solve the problem and I couldn't think of who to ask who would really have answers for me. My children were doomed to educational mediocrity. Things in my home would never be like they are in the homeschools of the moms who have it together. I was anxious and sad day after day, always longing for the past when we would read chapter after chapter of a great book together. I felt like a hypocrite answering questions or speaking at homeschool meetings. I was like a financial-counselor facing personal bankruptcy. Fortunately, all the while, I continued to pray - sometimes asking, sometimes begging God to do something...anything!

Acceptance
Slowly, God began to whisper to me with the words of friends, with scripture, with books, with others blog-posts. This is my only life. It is a gift from God and abundant with ways to become more like Him. There is never a problem finding serving-opportunities around our home. Over the past few days, I have rediscovered the joy of simple homeschooling, of spending time enjoying and snuggling my sweet, chubby baby, of purposefully noticing the uniqueness of each of my children, of taking time to come alongside my children, assisting them in problem-solving, of each day doing my best and accepting it as such instead of continually berating myself with the "if-only's" ("If only I'd tried harder", "If only, I'd scheduled better", "If only I'd taken better advantage of a certain time") I am not only accepting and embracing my life, but I am learning the deeper lesson of contentment. Now that I have made the choice to accept the reality that I cannot read aloud much at all to my children, I am, oddly, filled with hope. Now I know my starting point and I can work with it. God is good. Can I inspire you with an article that really speaks to me? Perhaps you have already read it: The Baby is the Lesson.

Do you struggle with interruptions while reading aloud? I'd love it if you would encourage me by leaving a comment...I'm not alone here, right? :)

Next post: Our New Plan!